Post by Yastreb on Mar 9, 2024 2:09:39 GMT
Many if not most scammers try to punch above their weight, if my experience is any guide. Here are two classic examples that used the same script and failed miserably.
I’ve changed the scammers name; his emails are date-stamped. My comments are in bold.
Right from the start, Commissioner Bloggs commits apostrophe abuse; and not for the first time!
14 January 2023
Dear Sir
I'm commissioner Joan Bloggs from the department of Homeland security New York City USA.
I'm contacting you base on your consignment box's here in our office,why do you choose to abandoned it here in our office? what's going on?
Consignment box's are not allowed to be in our office for long,do you have the documents of your consignment boxes?
Hope to read from you soon
Best Regards
Commissioner Joan Bloggs.
Attn: Commissioner Joan Bloggs
I haven't abandoned any consignment. Who told you I had?
Regards
Malcolm Reynolds
14 January
Thank you for your mail,your consignment box's contains real dollar bills and your contact are on it and that's why I contacted you.
A diplomatic agent brought it.
Best regards
Commissioner Joan Bloggs.
Bloggs realised that he hadn’t demanded my information as the script required.
14 January
Mr Reynolds a diplomatic agent brought your consignment box's here and he wants us to make a delivery to your doorstep because he couldn't make it up to you.your box's contains real dollar bills.
Please kindly provide me with the following informations
What's your nearest airport.
House address/office
Occupation
Front page of your passport or driving license.
It will make our diplomatic agent to make a delivery to your doorstep.
Thanks for your understanding
Best regards
Commissioner Joan Bloggs.
Mrs Bloggs
I wasn't expecting a shipment of anything, far less dollars. Who did that diplomatic agent work for?
Malcolm Reynolds
Bloggs dodged the question; no surprise there.
15 January
Dear Malcolm,
Your consignment box's have been here for some time now, we're expecting you to come over for it, Mr Malcolm what are your plans for it now?
Please kindly provide me with the following informations
Your nearest airport
Your phone number/WhatsApp number
House address/office address
Front page of your passport or driving license.
Your consignment box's contains real dollar bills over $20,000,000.
Please get back to me as soon as possible
Best Regards
Commissioner Joan Bloggs.
Mrs Bloggs
Call me Mr Reynolds, thank you kindly. I'm not Hungarian.
"Your consignment box's have been here for some time now" - I know nothing about your
'consignment box's'.
"we're expecting you to come over for it" - I'm in Australia. There's no way I could come over to New York any time soon, if at all.
"what are your plans for it now?" - I have no plans for it.
"Your consignment box's contains real dollar bills over $20,000,000" - take that to the FBI. Seriously, why haven't you done that already?
Malcolm Reynolds
Bloggs doesn’t take questions well.
15 January
What do you mean? Do you want to loose your money?if you are not ready for it please kindly tell me,if your consignment box's are not here I won't contact you.
I don't know what business you do or transactions you've done that makes a diplomatic agent brought your consignment box's.
How will Bloggs take being insulted?
Mrs Bloggs
I say what I mean and I mean what I say.
I told you repeatedly that I don't know anything about that gorram box. And if you can't understand me, then I have to wonder how the hell you to got to be a commissioner, because you don't have the brains of a kumquat.
Malcolm Reynolds
Not that badly, really.
15 January
Mr Reynolds you're the one who seems not to understand.
I said I find consignment box's that bears your names on it and it has been in our office for so long and that's why I contacted you if you're aware of it.
Mr Reynolds if you says you're not aware of it fine no problem, the boxes were smuggle into our office by the diplomatic agent and he came from Africa Ghana Accra.
Hope to hear from you soon
Commissioner Mrs Joan Bloggs
Mrs Bloggs
I know what you told me. I told you that consignment isn't mine. I made that very clear. So do what you want with it. Stop bothering me.
Malcolm Reynolds
17 April
Dear Mr Reynolds.
We discovered that the consignment boxes which contains an undisclosed amount of money from the United Nations/Compensation Award Committee was abandoned by the assigned diplomatic agent who was assigned to make this delivery failed to provide necessary clearances needed by the Customs At the John f Kennedy international Airport New York and when scanned recently, it revealed an undisclosed sum of money in two Metallic sealed Trunk Boxes weighing approximately 60kg each. The consignment was abandoned because the Content of the consignment was not properly declared by the consignee as “FUNDS” rather it was declared as personal effect to avoid diversion by the Shipping Agent and also the inability of the diplomat to pay for the Non Inspection Charges .
On my Documentation, The boxes contain twenty million united state dollars[$20,000,000.00] and the consignment is still left here in our office the details of the consignment includes your name, your email address your phone number and your house address.
Hope to hear from you soon
Best regards
Commissioner Joan Bloggs.
It’s time to ask that question again.
Mrs Bloggs
Who did that diplomatic agent work for?
18 April
Mr Reynolds
The diplomatic agent work with the UN, please are you on WhatsApp?so that the two of you can chat and for you to know more about the boxes.
Best Regards
Commissioner Joan Bloggs
Mrs Bloggs
Why did you demand clearances from a diplomat?
Malcolm Reynolds
18 April
Because he violated the law.
Mrs Bloggs
Just how did he violate the law?
Malcolm Reynolds
18 April
Mr Reynolds didn't you read the email I sent you?the boxes contains real dollar bills, that's why the customs stopped the delivery,the diplomatic agent does not know the content of the boxes.
Please read the email I sent you again and get back to me.
Mrs Bloggs
Are you familiar with the Vienna Convention?
Malcolm Reynolds
18 April
What do you mean? I don't understand what you mean by that.
Mrs Bloggs
You don't understand? You should!
Malcolm Reynolds
18 April
Mr Reynolds I'm only informing you about your abandoned consignment boxes here in our office.
Are you on WhatsApp? let's chat there is easier to reach you and me than email.
Best Regards
Mrs Bloggs commissioner.
The list of things diplomats can’t have done to them was taken from the Goon Show episode The Case of the Missing CD Plates.
Mrs Bloggs
It's illegal to demand clearance from a diplomat.
Diplomats can never be arrested, sued, disfranchised, blackballed, guillotined, run out, left in bulk, charged, hanged drawn and quartered, or needle-nardle-noo.
That means that the scenario you described can't be true.
Malcolm Reynolds
18 April
The discovery of real dollar bills in the boxes after the scanned report and the diplomatic agent has no legal documents to show to the customs officers that's why they stopped the delivery and brought the boxes to our office here in the New York City.
Department of Homeland security
Mrs Bloggs commissioner
Mrs Bloggs
Let me explain something.
I'm a retired US Marine with eighteen years of service. Among my duties in that time was standing guard at embassies in various nations. In that time I learned about officials of all kinds; attaches, charges d'affaires, and diplomats. That's how I know that you can't be telling the truth.
Malcolm Reynolds
18 April
Mr Reynolds If you lose your consignment boxes don't blame Homeland security but blame your self.
Your consignment boxes are illegal because the diplomatic agent does not have legal documents to show to the customs officers.
The consignment boxes where smuggle into the USA and you know very well that it's against the law.That's why the boxes have been here for so long now waiting for the rightful owner which is you.
Commissioner Mrs Bloggs
Okay, gloves off!
Mrs Bloggs
Don't try to bullshit me. Diplomats don't need legal papers to bring anything into a country. Customs official have no right to search a diplomat or demand clearance from him.
Or to put it another way; don't fucking lie to me, you stupid bitch.
Malcolm Reynolds
18 April
Mr Reynolds you just insulted me for no reason,your consignment boxes was scanned at the airport and beside the diplomatic agent came from Ghana Accra,so never you say such words to me again,are my the custom officer's who stopped him for making the delivery?
Come to our office and clean your consignment boxes yourself okay.
Listen up; I know you're not a genuine Customs officer. It doesn't matter what country a diplomat comes from, they can't be touched or stopped or questioned or scanned, and a real actual Customs officer would know that.
Or to put it another way; don't fucking lie to me, you stupid bitch.
18 April
someone reported that 30 consignment boxes were smuggled into our office here in the new york City together with other legal consignment boxes through Ghana!
For those who are wondering… “Nice try Lao Che” is a line from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.
I’ve changed the scammers name; his emails are date-stamped. My comments are in bold.
Right from the start, Commissioner Bloggs commits apostrophe abuse; and not for the first time!
14 January 2023
Dear Sir
I'm commissioner Joan Bloggs from the department of Homeland security New York City USA.
I'm contacting you base on your consignment box's here in our office,why do you choose to abandoned it here in our office? what's going on?
Consignment box's are not allowed to be in our office for long,do you have the documents of your consignment boxes?
Hope to read from you soon
Best Regards
Commissioner Joan Bloggs.
Attn: Commissioner Joan Bloggs
I haven't abandoned any consignment. Who told you I had?
Regards
Malcolm Reynolds
14 January
Thank you for your mail,your consignment box's contains real dollar bills and your contact are on it and that's why I contacted you.
A diplomatic agent brought it.
Best regards
Commissioner Joan Bloggs.
Bloggs realised that he hadn’t demanded my information as the script required.
14 January
Mr Reynolds a diplomatic agent brought your consignment box's here and he wants us to make a delivery to your doorstep because he couldn't make it up to you.your box's contains real dollar bills.
Please kindly provide me with the following informations
What's your nearest airport.
House address/office
Occupation
Front page of your passport or driving license.
It will make our diplomatic agent to make a delivery to your doorstep.
Thanks for your understanding
Best regards
Commissioner Joan Bloggs.
Mrs Bloggs
I wasn't expecting a shipment of anything, far less dollars. Who did that diplomatic agent work for?
Malcolm Reynolds
Bloggs dodged the question; no surprise there.
15 January
Dear Malcolm,
Your consignment box's have been here for some time now, we're expecting you to come over for it, Mr Malcolm what are your plans for it now?
Please kindly provide me with the following informations
Your nearest airport
Your phone number/WhatsApp number
House address/office address
Front page of your passport or driving license.
Your consignment box's contains real dollar bills over $20,000,000.
Please get back to me as soon as possible
Best Regards
Commissioner Joan Bloggs.
Mrs Bloggs
Call me Mr Reynolds, thank you kindly. I'm not Hungarian.
"Your consignment box's have been here for some time now" - I know nothing about your
'consignment box's'.
"we're expecting you to come over for it" - I'm in Australia. There's no way I could come over to New York any time soon, if at all.
"what are your plans for it now?" - I have no plans for it.
"Your consignment box's contains real dollar bills over $20,000,000" - take that to the FBI. Seriously, why haven't you done that already?
Malcolm Reynolds
Bloggs doesn’t take questions well.
15 January
What do you mean? Do you want to loose your money?if you are not ready for it please kindly tell me,if your consignment box's are not here I won't contact you.
I don't know what business you do or transactions you've done that makes a diplomatic agent brought your consignment box's.
How will Bloggs take being insulted?
Mrs Bloggs
I say what I mean and I mean what I say.
I told you repeatedly that I don't know anything about that gorram box. And if you can't understand me, then I have to wonder how the hell you to got to be a commissioner, because you don't have the brains of a kumquat.
Malcolm Reynolds
Not that badly, really.
15 January
Mr Reynolds you're the one who seems not to understand.
I said I find consignment box's that bears your names on it and it has been in our office for so long and that's why I contacted you if you're aware of it.
Mr Reynolds if you says you're not aware of it fine no problem, the boxes were smuggle into our office by the diplomatic agent and he came from Africa Ghana Accra.
Hope to hear from you soon
Commissioner Mrs Joan Bloggs
Mrs Bloggs
I know what you told me. I told you that consignment isn't mine. I made that very clear. So do what you want with it. Stop bothering me.
Malcolm Reynolds
That seemed to be it… but three months later, guess who’s back!
This one seems to have been warned against apostrophe abuse; or maybe someone else took over the scam.
Dear Mr Reynolds.
We discovered that the consignment boxes which contains an undisclosed amount of money from the United Nations/Compensation Award Committee was abandoned by the assigned diplomatic agent who was assigned to make this delivery failed to provide necessary clearances needed by the Customs At the John f Kennedy international Airport New York and when scanned recently, it revealed an undisclosed sum of money in two Metallic sealed Trunk Boxes weighing approximately 60kg each. The consignment was abandoned because the Content of the consignment was not properly declared by the consignee as “FUNDS” rather it was declared as personal effect to avoid diversion by the Shipping Agent and also the inability of the diplomat to pay for the Non Inspection Charges .
On my Documentation, The boxes contain twenty million united state dollars[$20,000,000.00] and the consignment is still left here in our office the details of the consignment includes your name, your email address your phone number and your house address.
Hope to hear from you soon
Best regards
Commissioner Joan Bloggs.
It’s time to ask that question again.
Mrs Bloggs
Who did that diplomatic agent work for?
Malcolm Reynolds
This time it gets answered. That will lead to problems.
Mr Reynolds
The diplomatic agent work with the UN, please are you on WhatsApp?so that the two of you can chat and for you to know more about the boxes.
Best Regards
Commissioner Joan Bloggs
Mrs Bloggs
Why did you demand clearances from a diplomat?
Malcolm Reynolds
18 April
Because he violated the law.
Mrs Bloggs
Just how did he violate the law?
Malcolm Reynolds
18 April
Mr Reynolds didn't you read the email I sent you?the boxes contains real dollar bills, that's why the customs stopped the delivery,the diplomatic agent does not know the content of the boxes.
Please read the email I sent you again and get back to me.
Mrs Bloggs
Are you familiar with the Vienna Convention?
Malcolm Reynolds
18 April
What do you mean? I don't understand what you mean by that.
Mrs Bloggs
You don't understand? You should!
Malcolm Reynolds
18 April
Mr Reynolds I'm only informing you about your abandoned consignment boxes here in our office.
Are you on WhatsApp? let's chat there is easier to reach you and me than email.
Best Regards
Mrs Bloggs commissioner.
The list of things diplomats can’t have done to them was taken from the Goon Show episode The Case of the Missing CD Plates.
Mrs Bloggs
It's illegal to demand clearance from a diplomat.
Diplomats can never be arrested, sued, disfranchised, blackballed, guillotined, run out, left in bulk, charged, hanged drawn and quartered, or needle-nardle-noo.
That means that the scenario you described can't be true.
Malcolm Reynolds
18 April
The discovery of real dollar bills in the boxes after the scanned report and the diplomatic agent has no legal documents to show to the customs officers that's why they stopped the delivery and brought the boxes to our office here in the New York City.
Department of Homeland security
Mrs Bloggs commissioner
Mrs Bloggs
Let me explain something.
I'm a retired US Marine with eighteen years of service. Among my duties in that time was standing guard at embassies in various nations. In that time I learned about officials of all kinds; attaches, charges d'affaires, and diplomats. That's how I know that you can't be telling the truth.
Malcolm Reynolds
18 April
Mr Reynolds If you lose your consignment boxes don't blame Homeland security but blame your self.
Your consignment boxes are illegal because the diplomatic agent does not have legal documents to show to the customs officers.
The consignment boxes where smuggle into the USA and you know very well that it's against the law.That's why the boxes have been here for so long now waiting for the rightful owner which is you.
Commissioner Mrs Bloggs
Okay, gloves off!
Mrs Bloggs
Don't try to bullshit me. Diplomats don't need legal papers to bring anything into a country. Customs official have no right to search a diplomat or demand clearance from him.
Or to put it another way; don't fucking lie to me, you stupid bitch.
Malcolm Reynolds
18 April
Mr Reynolds you just insulted me for no reason,your consignment boxes was scanned at the airport and beside the diplomatic agent came from Ghana Accra,so never you say such words to me again,are my the custom officer's who stopped him for making the delivery?
Come to our office and clean your consignment boxes yourself okay.
Listen up; I know you're not a genuine Customs officer. It doesn't matter what country a diplomat comes from, they can't be touched or stopped or questioned or scanned, and a real actual Customs officer would know that.
Or to put it another way; don't fucking lie to me, you stupid bitch.
18 April
someone reported that 30 consignment boxes were smuggled into our office here in the new york City together with other legal consignment boxes through Ghana!
For those who are wondering… “Nice try Lao Che” is a line from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.
Nice try, Lao Che, but as the eskimo told the icebox salesman, I ain't buying it.
That was it for our confused Commissioner...
Until she came back under new management.
Stay tuned!
x 4 (Lagos to Abuja, Nigeria to Ghana, Nigeria to Benin, Ghana to Benin)